Friday 28 April 2023

My music life

 


The music’s Cinderellas yearn to get out…

A lifelong closet musician artist...

The music caterpillar who's becoming a butterfly

 

My very first Conscious memory of active MUSIC listening starts around 5 years young, in my weekly kindergarten.  

The old French music piano teacher and her little solo vocalist…

The kindergarten’s only solo vocalist, making the perfect stage team

while making her mom very proud as all other parents were watching and listening with positive envy projected onto my mom, as she was tearing with parental pride

watching one of her 2 Romanian children  singing in French, even if the child could not speak it…  

 

Pre kindergarten’s childhood memories were also filled with music listening.

YET somehow escaped my Conscious memory of it due to the trauma of my parents divorce when me and my sister were very young…before reaching 3 years of age…

And so my mom shared with my adult self, years later how I was using music in a separate room with a closed door so I can cope with my severe child depression. The music was also very handy in helping me to cover my often bursts of sobbing.

The events around our parents’ dramas have already put a permanent stain on our impressionable and fragile minds and souls.

The following years, my love of music of many genres was deepening directly proportional with my solitude and teenage struggles in a reality where a single mother raising 2 girls on her own with close to no help was not a very friendly one, even in a tight knit strict communist country, where neighbors are family.

By 12-13 years young, music has officially become my lifelong partner, taking it along or looking for it everywhere I could.

Around that time, our maternal grandmother passed and so on our way to the cemetery, the big family and friends gathering and walking the cobblestone streets carrying large flower ornamental arrangements for such a sad event, have stopped for a few minutes to debate WHICH was the shorter route to walk.

The tension and sadness within the group has become too much to carry for my 13 years young self and so I’ve found myself starting to sing ABBA’s CHIQUITITA.

I almost couldn’t observe myself doing it, were it not for my cousin’s long and lecturing STARE while asking: “What’s wrong with you? Singing NOW??”  

The only answer I could murmur at the time must’ve been: so, what’s wrong with it?

The inner spiritual child KNEW that it’s not a terrible thing to sing during such an occasion, EVEN IF that would totally go against the grieving drenched extremely soul wrenching tragedy filled ways of which in my birth country we’d bury our loved ones.

Once more, MUSIC, my LIFELONG companion was THERE by my side when I needed her most.

After the regular elementary school choir sequences there came the teachers’ high school where Music was part of the curriculum as much as math and Grammar was.

Music theory and vocal coaching came in very handy in further sharpening my kinship with music.

I knew by heart every song in English that would make its way in a communist Romania in the early 80’s…lyrics included…

But my big personal recording breakthrough wasn’t until we immigrated to Canada and early 90’s found me with 2 tape recorders in my building apartment’s bathroom (for echo effect).

One of the tape recorders was playing Madonna’s LIVE TO TELL with Low volume while the other one’s blank tape was recording MY voice over.

I’ve played it to whomever wanted to hear it and when I wouldn’t tell them WHO plays it, they’d ask me: OK, so it’s Madonna but WHY is it so badly recorded?

My inner artist was struggling NOT to explode with pride and joy SEEING how I tricked them that it’s Madonna singing those tunes…

Imagine my sheer delight when I’d watch the shock, followed by wonder, confusion and then sparkles in their eyes when I’d CONFESS that it was My voice J

At once they’d come physically closer and one (my ex business partner) even offered to become my impresario while some other asked for an autograph because Someday he said you’ll be famous J

But THAT was the closest to becoming <famous> that I’ve ever been OR even wanted to J

Sure, the fire within the CLOSET CINDERELLA musician was burning to be LIT and Known

YET, childhood traumas and associated inner physical complexes and imaginary anticipated judgments and criticism of my singing were far too sedimented on my still very fragile psychic to even take a more serious step and approach to PROFESSIONAL singing.

2000 came and went fast, the world did not end so our lives continued…

 

My soulmate the ever savvy tech star seed made me a biggest surprise and gift in 2003 by buying and installing a software home based karaoke recording system which I’ve immediately started to use, practice on and recorded with my first 11 demos of various artists I’d follow at the time whose certain songs I was resonating with at the time.

The 11 demos I’ve recorded at the time have been carefully selected to test my own vocal prowess, potential, abilities and limitations alike.

I’ve managed to record those demos after tens of rehearsals for each of them.

Each one HAD to be AS perfect as it could for MY ability AT the time…

Based on some feedback from those close to me, they came up pretty good.

They FELT really good whenever I’d sing and practice them on my own

LIVE singing was still definitely out of my range and it remained the same until 2007 when, during a party at our home, while I was SAMPLE ing one of my demos to a guitar playing family friend, ANOTHER friend QUIETLY invited everyone else in the room (behind us) so they can hear me singing some track…

At once, I could FEEL something was off and as I turned around, pairs of eyes, exuding all sorts of expressions were staring at me.

I had to continue with a shaky voice which didn’t stop my little audience from clapping loud, hugging and congratulating me afterwards…and mom, with teary eyes whispering:

WHEN will you make a CD?  

 

A bit before and after, I’d play my demos to various friends and a common reaction that I’d get was instant tears or instant wonder…

As life would have it, the ARTIST within had to take a break so the ACTIVIST within can take over.

While I was dealing with LIFE challenges and activism, my life long dream to become a recording artist took a last row seat making way for REAL urgent situations, demanding all of my time, energy and focus.

 

Little did I hope that when connecting via social media with the GREAT VANELLO, my dream of recording ONLY 1 SINGLE was closer to reality than imagined.

And so in 2019, my very First ORIGINAL track was composed, music, lyrics and produced entirely by VANELLO

When I’ve received the NEGATIVE of my future single, from VANELLO (as we’ve recorded it LONG DISTANCE) I’VE CRIED FOR A LONG TIME IN DEEP GRATITUDE TO VANELLO for helping me manifest it.

 

With the help of my ever tech savvy life partner, a basic home studio was installed, with equipment recommended by VANELLO.

Even if my first single was not recorded in a perfect sound proof professional recording studio, as all the studio sound proof panels have not been applied on the walls yet (as per VANELLO’S guidance) my home studio in its incipient version was just barely enough for a first single.

My dream has come true in 2019.

AT LAST

What will the Future bring?

Time will tell…

If not HERE AND NOW, in this reality, most certainly in another reality, I’ve already made music on a large scale and will always make.

The activist is taking a rest

The artist has reawaken.

And ready to share SOME more of her soul vibes with those who are ready.

Thank you to all beautiful souls who have shared with me the effects and impressions my singing had on them.

 

Here are the 2 categories of testimonials:

The ones on my first original VANELLO track on YT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvLDSxvdeAY 

 

And the ones below from my older demo covers of some of

the other artists songs

 

VANELLO (The LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND track producer)

I listened to Manuela’s vocal demos a few years ago and i was really impressed by her angelic, clean voice. And on Madonna’s "Frozen", she replicates those "haa-aah" parts perfectly. Being a music producer, I get the chance to listen to many female voices and some are great, some are less good...but Manuela’s timbre sounded really special and challenging to me. Challenging enough to start a music project with her for showing the whole world a hidden treasure.

 

Karen Steward

Manuela you have a beautiful voice - I had no idea? I can’t believe you are not famous for your talent over other things 

 

Alin Bogdan Buzescu

Gone (demo 1) is the cosmic sound heard from inside a glass transparent tube that holds the 3D life in its fast journey through it. It's a whisper that can be heard only if one flies fast with faith in luminous ending. The calm, the reassuring of peace, the colorful transcends through sound the transparent tubular way. Is this understandable?

 

Graphically it can be drawn like Planet Earth snake like form, flying fast through the Univers in a protected glass tube through they can see the wonders of the Universe and cannot touch them.

Demo 2 N. Imbruglia

Is about the heaven corner on Earth that could. You have not stepped yet on land but preparation almost done. No hurry! Everything is okay!

But I suggest to slow the tempo and maybe the tonality. This is not Imbruglia if you see what I mean! 

Your voice is a double glass like vibration as if from very far yet so close... see? Untouchable somehow!

 

 

 Bogdan Cozianu (non Facebook) testimonial on Gone:

I've listened first to the original track followed by Manuela's demo version...the Original track, while very good, it invoked a deep sense of sadness and hopelessness...while Manuela's version of that same track has triggered an Ethereal sensation, a natural High, calmness, reassurance and Hope that no matter what, ultimately things will BE OK...her voice was flowing freely with no energetic sadness blockages...even through a sad song Manuela was able to deliver freedom and peace…a FEEL GOOD sensation

 

 

Baicu Sabina

I’ve listened to Manuela s demos and while listening to her interpretation of those original songs, I’ve felt a dreamy sensation, of freedom, liberation, her cosmic voice helps me to dissolve energetic blockages, a sense of wellbeing, of healing...I find she has a superb voice.

 

 

Ardent Heart

Amazing soul sister, listening to the newest demos and knowing some past ones also from a while ago, I can only say your voice and music I think probably put on any kind of musical genre, it is addictive in a GOOD way, soothing and healing, like an ANGEL voice. ALSO really AGELESS…youthful, fresh. All I can imagine and easily see in my mind when i hear it it's like an angel sent from Heaven, portrayed like a young woman with white wings, singing in a Divine, pure, soothing, calming voice. It feels like caressing the soul. I can't wait for an album because I would listen nonstop to such music, it gets me like into a "trance" state where I feel light and eased, floating on smooth clouds with the angels.

I'm so proud to know such a talent, I have no words.       

 

 

ADRIANA RADU

what a pity that you didn't become a singer... you would have brought many beneficial gifts to your listeners. first of all, the energy that 'flows' from the songs I feel like a river of healing energy, reaches my heart, caresses it and lies there. your voice is so sweet that it sends shivers down my spine, awaken the Kundalini snake, pamper it, caress it, fill it with energy from you.

 

 

CARMEN BADOI

In 2010 when I’ve heard Manuela’s first demos we were together in her car in a parking lot and I’ve burst in tears and hugged her for a long time! Such a powerful emotional releasing energy I’ve experienced

 

 

MARLENE MARCU

In 2005 when Manuela came to Europe and visited me she gave me the CD with her demos. I’ve inserted the CD in the CD player and within the first few moments suddenly tears were flowing on my face and I’ve looked at her with wide open eyes and wonder. I’ve immediately picked up the phone and called my fiancĂ©e at work asking him to listen to it while I would continue to cry a river…it felt like a strong emotional blockage was being released and a very soothing, healing energy taking over my body…amazing…my childhood friend, so talented…

 

 

Elaine D Love

I got the emails! Thank you. Going through them. Why aren’t you all over the radios? Amazing

The world needs your music

 

 

Nicu Constantin

Manu, I listened the demos, you have real vocal qualities, a natural voice that through exercise will get special features,

go on this road, you have to use this gift,

together with Vanello you will do beautiful things !

I am convinced that you will harmonize musically / artistically together !

Congratulations

      

 

Alina Roman (Therapeut)

I listened carefully to the songs you sent me and I can say that your voice reached my soul. I am looking forward to your first album, which will contain as many songs as possible that will inspire the recovery of personal power, the connection with the Divinity inside each person who will listen to them. I hug you with love!